Greatest years of your life? Pu-leeze!!!

DECA was so annoying today. That’s my marketing class. DECA stands for Distributive Education Clubs of America and it’s really an advertising campaign for capitalism. 60 years ago when you had to scare the commies away you may have had something, but now everyone's a blood sucking capitalist. Disagree? Look at Barney, that purple half-dog half-giraffe balloon belly dinosaur is worth more than Puma. That money grubbing whore! They teach you to be an entrepreneur too. Yeah, sure. Put in 65 back-breaking hours a week and open your very own book store and watch Barnes & Noble eat your stinky shit next fiscal quarter. Fuck no it ain't worth it. Some schools have DECA chapters, some don’t. Out of courtesy I thought about linking their home page so you could see what a bunch of ass shining turtle turds they are, but naw. It's all bullshit and I'm just doing it for my college application. Another useless yet significant looking thing for those on college review boards to say, “My, he’s well-rounded.” Fuck yeah. Well-rounded enough to know you're perpetuating a fraud on every goddamn high school kid in America.

Anyway, back to why DECA was so annoying today. We watched some scratched to shit vhs/beta video about how high school’s supposed to be the greatest years of your life. Say again? I didn’t stutter. Greatest years of your life. Are you fucking kidding me? If these are my greatest years, oh fuck, what’s gonna happen when I’m done with high school. Pop a pistol up my ass and trigger me into hell. I’ll give it to the old man in the video, fuck, he sure was passionate about making friends and relationships and memories of dancing with dimwitted chicks and eating cake at prom and the rest of the other shit you're supposed to experience in high school. But here’s my take. The greatest years of your life are in high school if, and only if, you have a hot girlfriend. That's the only criteria. And for girls out there, it's a hot boyfriend. And for hiding gay dudes, it's either or one of each. Take that old man in the vhs/beta scratched to shit video tape you're still getting residuals on from every high school making every kid watch! And fuck DECA, just because.